


I was content enough

by Missy_dee811



Category: Marvel Ultimates
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bisexual Tony Stark, Canonical Character Death, Developing Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Gay Steve Rogers, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-16
Updated: 2020-10-16
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:40:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27038863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Missy_dee811/pseuds/Missy_dee811
Summary: Steve had been thinking of untying it since he entered the room. He could do that sort of thing now, beyond not minding, Tony actively encouraged him.Your wandering hands feel so good.And Steve, he believed him.
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Comments: 6
Kudos: 64





	I was content enough

**Author's Note:**

> The title is from [[untitled]](https://poets.org/poem/untitled-10) by Tatiana Luboviski-Acosta.

“Not now, Greg,” said Tony.

Annoyance emanating from his person. He took a swig of whiskey from the tumbler in his hand as he walked to the kitchen. He set it down roughly, the amber liquid sloshing across the counter.

“I’m not Greg,” said Steve.

He kept his voice calm and even. Tony was a little on edge, or rather, more so than usual. Though, that was easily explained by Greg’s unwanted presence. Steve was glad he missed him. Greg’s unannounced and unwelcome visits always left Tony in a sour mood. No one could blame him. Greg was a piece of work.

Steve often wondered what they had been like as boys. If Greg had always been so callous and calculating, and if he was as cruel then as he is now.

Steve was left to wonder these questions. Tony never spoke of his childhood, and rarely mentioned Greg. Steve didn’t want to pry, but his curiosity would get the better of him eventually.

Perhaps, Tony would welcome the conversation. He was often glad to hear Steve was interested in his life and the things he had to say.

Steve couldn’t imagine not wanting to hear what Tony had to say. He was always thinking aloud, sharing plans with Steve. He had plans for all sorts of wondrous things Steve wouldn’t have thought imaginable when he was younger, let alone possible, but Tony found a way. And that was the beauty of being around Tony, he had quickly learned.

It was why Ms. Potts stayed and Rhodes was only a phone call away.

Tony lived his life on the cutting-edge. His armor was a modern marvel. Itself, endlessly fascinating. Though Steve was much more interested in the pilot. He was madly, deeply in love with Tony. He wished he could tell him that. He wished he could reassure him. Let him know he wasn’t like his other partners. They had only been interested in his money, the comforts that money could afford, and his body. They didn’t care about his brain, and they didn’t care about the man.

When they first met, Tony was lonely and dying, and not a soul cared, not even his Board of Directors. Ms. Potts had called them “callous fucks,” and Steve hadn’t heard a woman use such profane language before, but he couldn’t deny, it was warranted.

He hadn’t told Ms. Potts then, and he’s unsure what difference it would’ve made, but Steve made a promise that day. He wouldn’t let Tony die alone and unloved.

He dropped his duffel bag and shield next to the sofa and kept his arms at his side. He was exhausted. He hadn’t had a full night’s sleep in days. And though he didn’t need as much sleep as others, he still needed his rest. On the flight back, he kept dozing off, but hadn’t wanted to sleep.

He had wanted to get back, shower and shave, and then come up to see Tony. That was, until he was in the elevator, and without meaning to do so, had pressed the button for the penthouse.

Tony spun around. The tension melting away.

Steve couldn’t help but smile. He was happy to see Tony and happier still that Tony was glad to see him. He hadn’t realized how unsure he had been. This thing between them was nascent, and Steve hadn’t wanted to presume too much. He hadn’t wanted to think Tony would miss him as much as he had. Though now, of course, he knew that to be true.

“Oh God, much better. Much, much better,” he said.

He ran up to Steve and wrapped his arms around his neck. He smiled brightly when Tony pressed kisses to his cheek.

“I take it you missed me,” he said.

Tony nodded.

And again, Steve smiled. He smiled more around Tony in the last few minutes than in the weeks he had been away. Coming back was the best thing. He never wanted to leave.

Steve pulled him closer and caressed his cheek.

Tony looked down, at his slippers. They were bright red and complimented his robe. Steve had been thinking of untying it since he entered the room. He could do that sort of thing now, beyond not minding, Tony actively encouraged him.

_Your wandering hands feel so good._

And Steve, he believed him.

He cupped his cheeks and kissed him slowly. He couldn’t be careful with his words, and he was never delicate, but he could be purposeful. He wanted Tony to know how much he loved him, how much he missed him, how much he thought of him while he was away. The mission had been longer than the last and had left him feeling dreary. He hadn’t thought there would be someone waiting for him.

He had wanted a wife and a white picket fence. He had wanted children and a quiet life, but when he awoke in the future.

Well, none of that was possible. The woman he thought he was going to marry married his best friend. They bought a house together. They raised children and were now helping to raise grandchildren. Steve wanted to hate him for living out his dream, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t hate Gail and he couldn’t hate Bucky.

They had found each other and they were happy. It would have to be enough.

And it was, up until it wasn’t.

This future was strange. All his life, he had been taught to hate the things about himself he couldn’t control. He had been trained in the art of war. He was a machine for killing, another tool of the state. He was the perfect soldier, but he was far from being a perfect man. He had his weaknesses. His eyes lingered for far too long when walking through the showers. The more he tried to clear his mind of impure thoughts, the harder it was to stop thinking of them.

In the future, he had tried. He had tried to do what he thought would suit him best. He had tried to date women. He had tried it before Janet, but had failed, and then with Janet, everything crumbled.

He had to confess to her. It wasn’t fair.

He left before she could say anything. He leapt off the roof and onto the next one. He had felt exposed, and he couldn’t handle her rejection, though he was the one who had called it off. 

Steve watched Tony from afar.

He had always enjoyed watching him work, especially when he worked with his hands. Steve had imagined what it would be like to have Tony’s total and complete attention, to have his hands roaming his body. He didn’t berate himself for those thoughts anymore. They were allowed. The future was his, and he wasn’t going to be trapped.

He wasn’t going to be confined to a box, for as beautiful as it may be.

Letting himself experience desire was liberating. He could understand what people felt when they described what it was like to fall head-over-heels for someone. Finally. He had denied himself so long.

This was a second chance at a new life, in a new time. He wasn’t going to squander it. And so, when Tony’s last relationship crashed and burned. He mourned the loss of the teammate he thought she had been, before Natasha had exposed herself. He was glad to hear Clint took a clean shot, and Tony was left standing.

After that, he didn’t waste any time.

**Author's Note:**

> You can follow me on [Tumblr](https://viudanegraaa.tumblr.com/).


End file.
